Po's Awesome Rocket
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Po's frightening new attack might be a bit too much for Shifu and the Furious Five to handle.


"Check it out Master Shifu!" cried Po as he shoved one more dumpling into his mouth. "I've succeeded in stuffing my face to the fullest.

Shifu was clearly annoyed with his pupil. Po had been doing nothing but playing with his food all throughout dinner. "Po! Stop that and eat like a civilised warrior!"

"But Master Shifu… I'm the Dragon Warrior, so I should gobble down all sorts of good eats like a 'dragon'. DUH!"

Shifu stepped away from the table and went outside for some fresh air. The Furious Five all shot the portly panda a deadly glare.

"What?" said Po innocently.

"You've made the master angry with your irresponsibility, Po," said Monkey.

"He doesn't like seeing you act so bizarre all the time," said Tigress. "It's completely unbecoming of someone with such a high honour to withhold."

"Bizarre?" Po gasped. "You think that was bizarre?" He kicked his foot against the table and pushed himself into the back of the room. He wiggled around his arms and legs a bit. "No way! This is what I'd call truly 'bizarre'!"

"What's he doing?" Crane whispered worriedly.

Po let out a yelp of insanity and his whole body convulsed like a rabid hamster. His big panda bumble rumbled like a volcano. Po raised his face to the skies and began screaming in high pitch.

"Po!" cried Master Shifu as he ran back in. "Don't do it!"

"What's happening to him?" asked Viper.

"Whatever it is, it's not a good thing!" said Shifu. He jumped on Po's belly and released a flurry of punches into the fat.

Po just cracked a devilish grin in response to the pain and continue screaming. His bottom still vibrated with more chaotic energy building up with each passing second.

"Holy snootz!" cried Mantis, he hid under his rice bowl.

Po then released the fireworks from within his grand ole gut and rocketed up into the heavens, shattering the roof in the process and taking Shifu with him.

"Po! Snap out of it!" Shifu shouted into Po's tiny ears.

"I'M AWESOME!" Po wailed as gained meter upon meter of altitude. "AWESOME ROCKET!"

Shifu gasped. It was the Awesome Rocket move passed down by Kai the Collector.

Po's behind was displaying impressive fortitude. Shifu could not get it to stop escalating their advance into space. Shifu used his sacred butternut squash arts to try to quell the madness, but to no avail.

"Po and I will surely die!" Shifu exclaimed as he kicked da rumpage.

Po then bent forward and consumed Shifu into his fire power. Shifu was destroyed into teeny tiny pieces, but his legacy would certainly carry on.

The Furious Five wept bitter tears for the fall of their beautiful master. Then they saw Po fly by with his evil rocketing batooty.

"Po! You must cease this idiotic display of insanity!" called Monkey.

"I am your doom!" shrieked Po as he flew into the five warrior and snagged Mantis.

"You are in anguish!" cried Mantis.

"I AM STINKIN' GROOT!" roared Po and he slammed his flingmakers all over Mantis and fried him to crispy cricket tender.

"He got Mantis!" cried Monkey.

"Oh buttz, man!" yipped Crane.

Po shoved Mantis in his mouth for safe keeping. "Po is my name! Speed's my game!" He flew back into the crowd of four and procured two more victims: Monkey and Viper.

Po took Viper and tied up Monkey with it. Then he used the ultimate power from his maximum powerhouse to light them up with odorous sensations. The two were grilled to perfection and Po stored them in his cheeks alongside Mantis.

Po was releasing so much noxious fumes into the air, that all of China was starting to suffer from his rampage. Po also slammed his squeezers on every chimney and rained down flaming coals of pure pandemonium into the households across the land.

Tigress and Crane got bows and arrows and tried to shoot down Po, but his amazing stench was like a ghost that had a mind of its own. The stench would target the arrows and reduce them to ashes.

Po, cheeks full and cheeks rampant, snapped his fingers over his head like a madman as he soared high above the earth. He laughed and punched the clouds until they released lightning down below.

"I'm afraid he cannot be stopped…" said Tigress sadly.

All of a sudden, Po grabbed Crane by the neck, smooshed his hotcakes all over him and then tossed him into his collection. "I only need you Tigress!" he roared.

Tigress had only one last hope. She waited for Po to run into her and then she grabbed his finger. It was the only way: the Wuxi Finger Hold.

But Po was still too good. He shot so much out the rear that he reversed time and was able to stop the Wuxi Finger Hold from ever happening. Then he fried Tigress and ate her.

"I need one more dude!" Po growled. He flew to Mr. Ping's noodle shop and found his father singing to a spoon. "DADDY!"

"Oh, hey Po!" Mr. Ping said cheerfully. "Where have you been? I've got orders to fill and… Pyu! Po… you smell worse than spoiled dumpling!"

Po slammed his father with the acidic nightmare fuel and then swallowed him whole. This was his greatest achievement yet.

"I have devoured the mightiest beings in China. I'm Po Ping!" he burst out explosively while wiping his cheeks clean.

 **THE AWESOME END**


End file.
